Like Seriously, No Offence

I’ve been thinking about the last decade of my life a lot lately.

I’ve changed a lot.

When I was seven, I was totally outgoing and extroverted, I’d make friends as easily as I breathed, it was just “Hello, you wanna play?”. I loved showing off and my favourite thing to do is to jump of high places, I loved the feeling of falling and TV was something you watched only when you’re sick and couldn’t go to school. Fashion for me was whatever my mum picked out for me.

Then some time while I was in the second or third grade I changed. I realised I was different. I suffer from spinal muscular dystrophy and I had an abnormal gait. I began to shy away from situations that would put me in the spotlight since I didn’t want anyone to see that I was different and laugh at me. I started to hate heights, the mere thought of the sensation of falling would send shivers up my spine. I became more introverted, and making new friends turned into a chore. I grew to be more subversive and reserved and my interests changed from running around with friends to activities which I could do on my own, like reading, or watching TV. Fashion for me now was whatever was on top of the pile in my wardrobe.

In year seven I made some of the best friends I have ever made, we shared interests, hung out, had fun and we were all still incredibly immature for our age. Unfortunately my family’s financial situation meant that I couldn’t have all the things other kids had, and I often felt like I was left out, but we still had a hell of a lot of fun anywho. My interest in music was sparked during this time. It was sparked by Pokémon, of all things. Unfortunately, those guys had to move away and it was a long time till I made any friends as close they were. That time, fashion for me was a dark coloured top and beige-ish pants.

In years eight through nine I was just weird.Though, still reserved I yearned to show the world who I was. I started to stand out in subtle ways. I adopted weird habits and learned quirky skills. I musically yearned for the last decade, growing up on a steady diet of television, I became a child of the 90’s my music was the garage bands of old and hits made famous by the great idiot box. I had tons of friends, but none as close as those before. I gained quite a bit of weight in this period. Back then fashion for me was a t-shirt and a pair of ill-fitting jeans.

At around year ten I started to feel comfortable in my own skin. My empathic abilities really started to grow, and because of that I really started to mature, a bit too much thought probably, I learned how to lie incredibly well and use those skill to get what I want. I grew much braver and learnt to voice my opinions, especially to those whom I used to fear. I adopted the motto “Try it at least once”, and that motto has led to numerous amazing experiences. I started to get bored of everything and ended up being pretty indifferent My music then was any pop-punk that was horribly mainstream, and my fashion was a t-shirt, a shirt over that and again ill-fitting jeans.

Now I’m in year twelve, at the end of my schooling years. I’ve come to accept who I am and would shout it at the top of my lungs if it weren’t for how complicated things would get. Most of my weird habits are pretty much gone, and only surface when I’m both bored and high, I can stand up to pretty much anyone, if I don’t it’s usually because it would cause a huge inconvenience. The way I act is more mainstream, though I’m not sure whether that’s a good thing or not. I’m definitely starting to be more extroverted again, thanks to an awesome group of friends. I lie for fun and also have learned that bad manners aren’t always a bad thing when you know where to use them. I still strive to stand out subtly. My music is now whatever I think sounds good depending on my mood, and fashion is now layered neutral tones with splashes of vibrant colour to spice it up and balance it out.

I wonder who I’ll become in the next decade.